Letting my imagination run wildly..

Let's go back, shall we? Say, seven months before I met up with Jel. Yeah, that's about it.



I ran my hand through my messy hair as a pathetic way of trying to keep it looking neat; in my haste to leave my dorm, I foolishly forgot to comb my hair. Silently cursing as I made my way through the long, narrow street going to school, I still couldn't believe how preoccupied I was. What was I thinking? Oh yeah, Chris broke up with me last night. That jerk.


He asked if we could see each other at my dorm because he needed to talk to me; I, of course, thought that it wasn't going to be very important since we talk almost all the time. I ignored the fact that he approached me a little later looking as though he just came from a funeral. We sat down, then he took a deep breath.


"Kels, I really need to tell you something", he said.

"Of course. What is it honey?" I asked.

He visibly cringed when I said "honey". I started to feel alarmed.

"You know that I love you, right?" he said hesitantly. He wasn't looking at me.

"Yes", I said slowly.

He was twiddling with thumbs as he spoke. He never did that. He always looks at me when whenever we talk. A little bell was going off in my head as I wearily gazed at him.

He sighed. "I guess there's no point in pretending", he said.

He turned to me and looked at me with a strange look in his eyes. Was it pity? Or was I just imagining it?

"We need to break-up".

I must have stopped breathing after those words came out of his mouth, because my world started spinning in a confusion of colors and sounds. It was pretty obvious that I wasn't expecting that; if there were signs that were warning me that this day would come, I must have been too blind to pay attention to them. Love could do that, and right now it's making me feel stupid.

I first met him while I was sitting in one of the stone benches surrounding the school. It was a beautiful day; the sun was partly hidden behind the clouds and there was a soft breeze that made me slightly drowsy. I couldn't resist the temptation on working on my assignment outdoors, it felt nicer; staying in my dorm until class started felt like I was in prison. I would sometimes pause from my problems, rest my pen on my book and watch the leaves fall idly in front of me; I'd even try and catch some of them as they fell. Of course I was aware that there were some people who'd stare at me and think that I was crazy, but why the hell should I care?

As I watched a leaf fall, I felt someone sit beside me; the benches were wide enough to let four to five people sit even without making their shoulders rub against those of their neighbor. I didn't move or even turn my head to look at my new "benchmate"; it was inevitable that someone was going to sit beside me, given the population of the university, the scarcity of other places to stay and the nice weather. I was certain that no one wanted to be cooped up indoors for long.

I suppose my other reason for going there in the first place was because it was because it was peaceful. Honestly speaking, it looked more like a park instead of a school; trees towered above me, shading me from the glaring face of the sun. I liked my alone time, since it gave me time to think. And just because someone sat beside me doesn't mean that I have to deprive myself of my peace for some stranger.

But fate had other plans.

From my peripheral vision, I could tell that he was a guy because of his uniform and that he was looking at me which made me a little uncomfortable, but I didn't show it.

"Why do you do that?" he suddenly asks me.

I let out a low grumble, which I was sure he didn't hear. I hated it when people disturbed me; I slowly turned to him and looked at his face. He was rather good-looking; brown eyes, fair complexion, nice teeth (he was smiling; the nerve of him, really) and even when he was just sitting down, I could tell that he was tall.

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"That. Stare", he pressed.

I shrugged. "I like doing it. What's it to you?" I added with a slight edge to my voice.

"Nothing. I was just curious. I've been watching you from over there for awhile". he said casually; then he nodded towards another bench on the other side of the park, about ten feet away from me.

I raised my eyebrow. "You've been watching me? I didn't know that I was part of a zoo", I said sarcastically.

"Don't take it the wrong way", he replied quickly. "I had nothing else to do. It was either I watch you or wait for a bird to poop on me". He laughed a little.

"Then why don't you leave?" I asked. "And what made you decide to come over here and talk to a stranger?"

"My class starts in three hours so I have a lot of time to kill. I didn't feel like hovering around at home like a ghost. It drives my mom crazy!" he said. "And I wanted to talk to you because, well, I got a bit lonely. And I don't consider you a complete stranger; I see you around the building a lot".

It was only then that I noticed his uniform; white polo, with a red tie and black slacks; the same uniform that the guys from my college wear.

"Looks like we have the same schedule", I said rather distractedly as I looked away.

"I've noticed. What's your course? And year?" he asked.

"Communication Arts, first year", I answered. "And you?"

"Political Science, first year", he said, grinning.

We went on like this for the next two hours. My book lay forgotten on my lap as I listened to Chris, as he was called, and laughed at his jokes. I had to admit, he was rather fun to be with. I noticed how his eyes disappears when he laughs and how intently he looks into my eyes when I was talking. We walked to our building together and we exchanged numbers before parting.

Two months later, he asked me if he could court me. And two more months after that, we were a couple.


We've been together for about a year and nine months. I was happy; blissfully happy. But apparently, he didn't feel the same way.

"Why?" I choked out.

He looked at me and I stared back; I searched his eyes frantically for any hint of love that he may still have for me. But I saw nothing and that made things worse.

"I've met someone else", he said in a low and rather hollow voice.

By this time, I was hyperventilating. I wanted to know who she was, and when did it all start, but I felt too weak for a confrontation that was sure to follow. It felt as if I was falling off a cliff very slowly and that I couldn't reach the bottom fast enough. It was a strange feeling, and I tried to fight off the sudden wave of sadness that threatened to swallow me whole.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and looked away.

"Leave", I said stiffly.

"Kels--", he started but I stood up before he could say anything else.

"Just go", I said, my back still turned to him.

I remained standing there for a few seconds before I felt him stand behind me; I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I shivered. I wanted to run back inside, but I was frozen on the spot.

"I love you", he whispered. "Never forget that".

I couldn't keep it in any longer. I turned my head for a fraction of an inch. "And you expect me to believe that after what you just said?" I snorted. "Run along to your new girlfriend. She'll wonder where you are".

And with that, I left him. I heard him call me to go back, but I ignored him.

My room mates weren't home so I had the room all to myself. I cried that night, cried until my tears dried up. I turned off my cell phone because he was still texting me. Bastard.

Before I could gather my thoughts, I was suddenly aware that I was standing in front of my classroom; I couldn't recall crossing the street and entering the building. I bet I passed Chris but I just didn't see him, being so absorbed in my own thoughts. I took a peek through the little glass window and saw that there were only a few people inside, which included some of my friends.

I haven't told any of them what happened the night before, so I mentally prepared myself for their reactions. Thinking that I might as well get it over with, I grabbed the handle and pulled the door open.